Mini Ep. 81: Respect Your Opponent

Speaker 1: Hey everybody, before we get started this week, I have huge news. She actually did it. We're pleased to announce that Beatrice Jin, top-ranked women's competitor in North America and long-time BJJ Mental Models premium community member, has published her first ever course with us, exclusive to BJJ Mental Models. It's called Stop Being Nice. It's a three-part audio series designed to solve real mindset problems that regular folks experience in Jiu-Jitsu. If you struggle to be aggressive and competitive in Jiu-Jitsu, you'll find the solutions here. If you're already a BJJ Mental Models premium subscriber, you've already got access, and if you are not, good news, you can get it now and get your first week free, go to BJJmentalmodels.com and check it out today. Speaker 1: Hey everybody, welcome to BJJ Mental Models. I am Steve Kwan. BJJ Mental Models is your guide to a conceptual and intelligent Jiu-Jitsu approach. And I want to use this mini episode to talk about the importance of respect in the martial arts. And this is probably not going in the direction that you think it is. Often when we talk about respect, we think of this more from a an ethical or a moral or a virtue standpoint. That's not where I'm going here. I'm talking about results. My stance is that respecting your opponent isn't just the right thing to do, but it leads to better grappling outcomes as well. Speaker 1: Failure to respect your opponent often has disastrous consequences. It's not just about the relationship that you have with them, it's not just about the way that you will be perceived, but it's also about the outcomes of your match, because failing to respect your opponents can significantly change the way that you behave when you engage in a grappling competition. First, let's define what we mean by respect. Respect doesn't always mean that you like someone or that you agree with them. Sometimes it means that you just respect their ability to perform and you take them seriously because of that. You might not even think that this person does things the right way. You might not even be impressed with the results that that person gets. But failing to respect that person's danger to you is a big mistake. And for this reason, we should always respect our opponents because it can be hard to gauge whether someone is a real threat to you, and so it's often best to just assume that they are. Speaker 1: So respecting a person doesn't mean that they're better than you, it doesn't mean that you have to like them, it doesn't even mean that they're right. It just means that you acknowledge that they are a competitive challenge to you and that you have to take them seriously because you want to win. Even an inferior opponent can win. So you don't want to make the mistake of thinking that just because you're better or you're doing things the right way, that means that you're guaranteed a victory. So here are some reasons why you need to respect your opponent. The big one is that you don't underestimate them, but also so that you don't close your mind to learning opportunities. As Kenneth Blanchard said, none of us is as smart as all of us. The mistake that many grapplers make, especially more experienced ones, is assuming that there's nothing that junior people can teach them. That is a lack of respect and that closes your mind to the possibility of learning from people less experienced than you. That is ultimately how you get entrenched in your ways, how you become one of those senior people who just doesn't seem to ever get better. Part of where that begins is when you stop respecting the junior people that you train with and compete against. Don't make that mistake. Speaker 1: Another reason to respect your opponent is because that's part of how you manage your ego. Often lack of respect is driven by ego. So if you don't respect your opponent, you should check yourself and maybe think about why that is. Is it because you feel you're superior to them? If so, that's a mental trap. That's a performance trap. You should be able to respect someone regardless of their achievements. And you don't want to make the mistake of disrespecting or underestimating someone just because they don't have any big accomplishments yet. If you make that mistake, you could wind up being their first big accomplishment. Also, beyond that, respect is about bridging divides. The first strategy for any conflict should be seeking an amicable resolution. Now, you might think that that's more of an emotional intelligence thing and not a grappling intelligence thing, but even in the world of grappling, think of how many competitors were once fierce rivals, but went on to become great friends, training partners and collaborators later. Some people even balance these two things simultaneously, where they will be training with and also competing with people at the same time. If you don't respect people, that closes that door. Speaker 1: So respect is really a key principle, not just for being a better person or living by your moral compass, but also by being a better grappler, because it makes sure you always understand the seriousness of being in any sort of grappling match. Even an unexperienced, untrained person can be dangerous. As you get more experienced in Jiu-Jitsu, you become much more aware of this. There is no such thing as a sure thing when you're in a grappling match. And for that reason, it's always important to respect your opponent, not just to be the best version of yourself, but also to move yourself towards the best possible outcomes. I love this kind of concept. This stuff transcends the martial arts and has really helped me beyond the mats. If you want more like this, check out BJJmentalmodels.com. You can get more mini episodes like this, plus full-length episodes, plus our newsletter. These are all free. Beyond that, if you want to level up with us, check out BJJ Mental Models Premium. It's the world's largest library of audio lessons from the best coaches and grapplers on Jiu-Jitsu strategy, concepts, mindset, philosophy. These things don't fit well into traditional instructionals, but this is why people come to BJJ Mental Models. We excel at this. All of this is at BJJmentalmodels.com. Thanks for listening. Hope you enjoyed this and we'll talk to you soon.