A Man Broke Into My Apartment at 4 AM (feat. Andrea Tang)

In this episode of Fighting Matters, Steve Kwan is joined by Andrea Tang: novelist, brown belt at District Martial Arts, and host of BJJ Today on the BJJ Mental Models Premium Network. Three years ago, a serial home invader broke into Andrea's apartment at 4am and tried to sexually assault her in bed. She fought him off using day-one white belt basics. This is a conversation about that night, the years of court proceedings that followed, and what watching the BJJ community treat survivors has taught her about who actually has the courage to speak up.

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👥 Featuring:
- Steve Kwan — https://bjjmentalmodels.com
- Andrea Tang — https://andreatangwrites.com

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🧠 Topics Discussed:
- Surviving a home invasion at 4am using basic jiu-jitsu
- What the court process actually looks like for sexual assault survivors
- Why women don't speak up, even with airtight cases
- The "porcupine strategy" and why white belt basics matter most in real attacks
- Why stranger violence and instructor abuse should not be treated as the same problem
- The identity crisis that hits women martial artists when they become victims
- How women in combat sports absorb toxic masculinity (and why it costs them)
- Busting the "no woman could beat a man" myth

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📖 Chapters:
00:00 — Welcome and book plug
02:29 — The night a stranger broke in
06:02 — The aftermath and the marks it leaves
09:26 — What the court process actually costs survivors
12:52 — Why so few women ever speak up
26:15 — When muscle memory wakes up before your brain does
33:53 — The porcupine strategy: being a hard target
39:50 — Stranger attacker vs. instructor abuser
44:28 — When the victim is a martial artist
48:56 — Toxic masculinity isn't a men's thing
55:47 — What jiu-jitsu is actually for